Published on January 2nd, 2014
***Author Note: This is not a love story. This is a story of love gone wrong.***
Growing up the way I did, you’d think I’d be more screwed up than what I actually am.
Soon as I turned sixteen, I left that bump in the road I called home and took my chances on the street.
Best decision I ever made.
Now, at the age of twenty six, I’m educated, employed and damn good at my job.
My friends have become my family. Like me, they know what it’s like to grow up unloved.
But the saying is true.
The world makes way for those who know where they are going.
I know where I’m going and I’ll get there eventually. On my own terms and at my own pace.
But then there’s him.
I feel his eyes on me. I see him hiding in plain sight. He watches me.
He makes me feel.
But it’s real.
I’m sure you’re wondering how a person falls in love with their stalker.
So am I.
This isn’t a story.
This is my life.
“What is it about you that makes me want to do very stupid things?”
Whoa, this book grabbed my attention from the first page and didn’t let go until the very last. It’s not very often that a book’s ending hits me the way this one did. It definitely lives up to the author’s warning of love story gone wrong.
Alexa (Lexi) is a social worker that helps youths who are in less than ideal living situations. She has a huge heart and is the kind of person who wants to help or fix things at any cost.
I want to protect them. I want them to have the childhood that I didn’t get. I want to be there to pick them up when they’re down. But I need to be careful. And I will be careful. As much as a person with a stalker can be.
Yup, you read that right, Lexi has a stalker. She’s very aware of him, catching glimpses here and there, being able to feel his presence. Instead of being terrified of him as you would think, she’s somehow intrigued by this mysterious hooded man.
He’s everywhere. And I mean everywhere. It almost seems like he knows where I’m going to be before I know. His head lifts, and his eyes watch mine. He never acknowledges me. He doesn’t ever make a move to meet me. He just…is. Never bothering me. In fact, seeing him stirs something in me. He is lodged in my subconscious. The star of my dreams. Which is ridiculous. I know.
When something horrific happens, it leads to Lexi finally meeting her stalker, known as Twitch face to face. For whatever reason, she feels like he won’t hurt her and she finds comfort in him and wants to learn all she can. The sexual tension between them from the very first meeting is pretty freaking intense. I was actually completely caught off guard by how forward Twitch was and I loved that he surprised me in that way.
You need him. You need to know who he is. Why he is. And why he watches you. Admit it, girl. You want him…as much as he wants you. Oh, wow. I’m a stupid asshole. I’ll be having words with myself about this later.
“You feeling uncomfortable?”
I immediately nod. Squeezing my ass once more, he places his lips at the shell of my ear. “Good. Get used to it. Because I’m going to do bad things to you.”
Twitch comes with a warning label and he makes it very clear to Lexi that he isn’t a good guy and he isn’t going to be easy on her. That means both in and out of the bedroom. And there is seriously A LOT of time spent in the bedroom and anywhere else they can get their hands on each other. He’s rough and extreme and at times completely terrifying.
“Keep this up and you’re going to get hurt.” My spine stiffens.
“Is that a threat?” Lifting his head, his soft brown eyes harden.
“It’s a fucking promise.”
We get this in dual POV, which I loved because we get to see what’s going on in Twitch’s disturbed mind. His parts are shorter than Lexi’s which worked really well because there is a level of mystery to why he acts the way he does. He’s not only a mystery to the reader, but Lexi as well. He really does a number on her emotions because he’s unpredictable, hot one second, cold the next. When you think he’s having a moment of true sweetness it can be followed by something patronizing and demeaning. I absolutely loved Twitch as a character. As a boyfriend… yeah probably not what I’d go for. But reading about him? Hell yeah, I loved every depraved second of it. He’s hiding some pretty fucked up secrets and at times it’s very hard to figure out what his true feelings and motives are.
“I’m not a good person.” Leaning away from me, he adds, “You think a person like me deserves your type of goodness? No. I’ll tell you right now that I don’t.” Seeming frustrated with himself, he bites his thumbnail. “The thing is, I’m selfish. And I don’t give a fuck about what I deserve. All I care about is what I want. And I want you so fuckin’ bad that I’d do almost anything to keep you.”
There are some things that I had to make a conscious decision not to let get to me though. Lexi is ridiculously understanding of Twitch, his stalking, his sexual preferences, his occupation, the way he treats her. She just lets it happen and even though it does eat her up inside at times, it still goes on. I can attribute a lot of that to her big heart and the way she grew up, she has a soft spot for people who need extra help and love, but still at times it was a little too much for me. There is also quite a bit that isn’t explained in much detail. It just is what it is. It’s almost like.. don’t ask, don’t tell. Because the main characters had so many secrets and didn’t get to know each other very well, we didn’t either. I got the feelings they had for eachother. But the how’s of things that happened were never clear or explored. I ended up loving the characters, and being intrigued by their story was enough for me, but I could see how not having certain plot points more fleshed out would be a big deal to some and usually for me.
I did enjoy the writer’s personality though, there is some humor there to lighten things up. It has a darker feel, but I wouldn’t necessarily call this a dark read. I know this is very different than the authors other works, but I’ll definitely be checking them out.
I have to take a second and say how much I loved the secondary characters here too. Lexi’s best friends Nikki and Dave were refreshing and funny. Michael, one of Lexi’s “kids” was a personal favorites. Also, Happy, Twitch’s right hand man was pretty interesting and added a lot to the story.
The relationship between Lexi and Twitch takes some pretty crazy turns, it’s a very unconventional love story and it kept me captivated the entire time. I started it after midnight on an overnight 6 hour flight. I couldn’t have slept even if I had wanted to. It’s one of those all consuming kind of stories. And that ending? FUCK! It left me a little speechless and as much I would love more of Twitch and Lexi’s story, I kind of loved it. I thought it was different and a little bit perfect.
“When it’s good, it’s the best and most beautiful thing I’ve ever experienced. So good, that it makes me feel bad for people who haven’t had the honor.” She smiles big and I add, “But when it’s bad…it’s bad, Nikki. A goddamn Greek tragedy. It’s horrific. And really fucking scary.” Stirring the coffee that no longer needs to be stirred, I whisper, “He scares me.”